Have you ever felt like you are on top of the world one day? Have you ever felt empty inside another day? If you are not from Mars, i'm sure you have. A study shows that our mood tends to change from time to time. Today you may see the dougnut, but tomorrow all you can see is the hole. What happened to the dougnut? Did somebody eat it already and why is it invisible?
There are hundreds of thoughts running through my busy mind every day. They make me forget to think which one is positive, which one is negative. By continuing to feed my mind with the wrong food of thoughts, i couldn't any longer enjoy the taste of the right one. What's worse than that? I couldn't even tell which one is right and wrong. Our mouth always want to bite and grin any tasty food. But do you treat your mind the same way?
After i read an emotionally interesting article "Outsider", paragraph 1 to 3 can be summarized into one phrase "I feel like i am a black sheep." Many people who have gone through this sort of feeling think that they have been neglected and uncared. This is pratically not always true. We are living in a fast-moving world, everyone is too occupied with themselves. Don't ask what others can do for you. Ask what you can do for yourself and others. Read this for more. Paragraph 4 talks about playing the tape of guilty, unworthy feelings over and over. I believe that while we can close our eyes from seeing what we don't want to ses, it's hard to close our mind from thinking about what we don't want to think. The pictures just pop up. It happens to me too. The final paragraph is about the escape. I wish you could release yourself from this world of judgement. If you are self-conscious, no matter where you are, you are still being judged not by others but yourself.
By the way, i honestly don't like writing. i like reading but this time i am writing about feeling and emotion. Whenever i pick my pen, i don't know where i should begin. It's pretty hard to find a perfect line to describe my thoughts and to put them onto paper. The following is what i wrote the other day when i didn't know what to do:
Time does fly, ONE-WAY ONLY. I wish i could have a time machine. I would turn the time back to the spot i want to be which is sleeping on my mum's laps. The world is moving, the clock is ticking each and every mili-second. When a day is gone, it will never come back. It's gone forever. A scary truth is everyone on earth is heading for one thing in common: a death. Nobody and i mean nobody can't avoid it. What if the world stops moving, then we stop being alive too.
I used to let the fear of death strikes me. I used to think that one day i would die, one day the ones i love will be gone, one day the ones who love me will never come back. I cannot face those tragedies. As i went to medical school, i saw blood, sorrow, tear, fear, love and death.
I've learnt that there are certain things you cannot change. It's the law of nature. I think i could overcome that feeling right now. Let me share with you a little story of mine. Years ago my grandpa was seriously ill and had to stay in hospital. I was not sure how old i was, but in my ten-some. I couldn't help him anything besides praying that i would shorten my life by ten years if that could make him ok. Consequently my grandpa got better. I wondered if it was because of my prayer. I didn't give a damn care as long as he was ok. I always prayed when his health went terrible. Several years later, he passed away. Maybe i am running out of my life, that's why my prayer was not effective any more. Still, i don't care how long i can survive. All i care is how well i could live during my survival. We should live our life to the fullest and cherish every moment that we breath. Thank God for giving us the lung and nose to breath both oxygen and the fart. I'm a funny person. I don't want to be too emotional. Thanks god for giving us the heart to beat.
Last but not least, i would like to dedicate this article to everyone who is reading right now, to Pisey in special. Without her, i wouldn't write something this emotinal. Next time i will try to find something funny to post. Take care...
There are hundreds of thoughts running through my busy mind every day. They make me forget to think which one is positive, which one is negative. By continuing to feed my mind with the wrong food of thoughts, i couldn't any longer enjoy the taste of the right one. What's worse than that? I couldn't even tell which one is right and wrong. Our mouth always want to bite and grin any tasty food. But do you treat your mind the same way?
After i read an emotionally interesting article "Outsider", paragraph 1 to 3 can be summarized into one phrase "I feel like i am a black sheep." Many people who have gone through this sort of feeling think that they have been neglected and uncared. This is pratically not always true. We are living in a fast-moving world, everyone is too occupied with themselves. Don't ask what others can do for you. Ask what you can do for yourself and others. Read this for more. Paragraph 4 talks about playing the tape of guilty, unworthy feelings over and over. I believe that while we can close our eyes from seeing what we don't want to ses, it's hard to close our mind from thinking about what we don't want to think. The pictures just pop up. It happens to me too. The final paragraph is about the escape. I wish you could release yourself from this world of judgement. If you are self-conscious, no matter where you are, you are still being judged not by others but yourself.
By the way, i honestly don't like writing. i like reading but this time i am writing about feeling and emotion. Whenever i pick my pen, i don't know where i should begin. It's pretty hard to find a perfect line to describe my thoughts and to put them onto paper. The following is what i wrote the other day when i didn't know what to do:
Time does fly, ONE-WAY ONLY. I wish i could have a time machine. I would turn the time back to the spot i want to be which is sleeping on my mum's laps. The world is moving, the clock is ticking each and every mili-second. When a day is gone, it will never come back. It's gone forever. A scary truth is everyone on earth is heading for one thing in common: a death. Nobody and i mean nobody can't avoid it. What if the world stops moving, then we stop being alive too.
I used to let the fear of death strikes me. I used to think that one day i would die, one day the ones i love will be gone, one day the ones who love me will never come back. I cannot face those tragedies. As i went to medical school, i saw blood, sorrow, tear, fear, love and death.
I've learnt that there are certain things you cannot change. It's the law of nature. I think i could overcome that feeling right now. Let me share with you a little story of mine. Years ago my grandpa was seriously ill and had to stay in hospital. I was not sure how old i was, but in my ten-some. I couldn't help him anything besides praying that i would shorten my life by ten years if that could make him ok. Consequently my grandpa got better. I wondered if it was because of my prayer. I didn't give a damn care as long as he was ok. I always prayed when his health went terrible. Several years later, he passed away. Maybe i am running out of my life, that's why my prayer was not effective any more. Still, i don't care how long i can survive. All i care is how well i could live during my survival. We should live our life to the fullest and cherish every moment that we breath. Thank God for giving us the lung and nose to breath both oxygen and the fart. I'm a funny person. I don't want to be too emotional. Thanks god for giving us the heart to beat.
Last but not least, i would like to dedicate this article to everyone who is reading right now, to Pisey in special. Without her, i wouldn't write something this emotinal. Next time i will try to find something funny to post. Take care...
4 comments:
How come you wish to be a lil bubba again? Being a kid is better, don't u think so? If yes, I'll share you my magic wand, you can twist back the time, and off you go on your carefree zone without confronting any responsibilities. Sounds good, doesn't it? Oh man, back to reality :) You are who you are, and I am who I am.
The random paragraph of your, the 5th, I meant, is the most emotional part :P Luv it :)
Thks for you sincere dedication. Got my real name, huh?? Never mind. Oh btw, talking bout the name reminds me of my last post, go and check it out. See if you find yourself ideal to that kind psychological assessment??? As for me, I feel like I am reading through about the real me :P Especiall when they mentioned about letting the chaos lead my thoughts. Funny lolz...
That'll be awesome. U r a little girl and i am little bigger boy. I wish my house was near ur house too. i liked playing with my neighbor kids. I once got my head bleeding because of them too.
Wonderful Pisey, do u want me to replace ur name with barbie?
I know from one paragraph to another, It seems there is little relevance. That's y i mentioned there r hundred of thoughs running in my mind. So I randomly type those feeling. No editing.
Catch u later.
u said u don't like writing, and u're writing this long. I can't imagine how long u would write if you liked writing. Know what I mean?
when i have free time, i like re-reading my post again and again. So that I can learn and recall my thoughts. before i started making a blog, i don't like writing at all. Now i start to like it.
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